Fair Verona
by Stjarnas Alskare
Summary: Skaia High is presenting a modified version of Romeo and Juliet. How better for Karkat to woo his personal Juliet then through the classic love story? Terezi won't know what hit her.
1. Chapter 1

**SHOULD NOT DO! But... The Homestuck...**

**Yeah, my first one of these, but I'm all caught up on the comic and I read a lot of fanfic... I also try to ship all the ships. The main ship for this? Karezi. Issues? Fuck off.**

**Anyway, I'm reading Romeo and Juliet in English. I just kinda thought offhandedly, "Karkat would make a great Romeo..." and bam. There this.**

_...line-break..._

It started with a flyer:

**Skaia High School prestents:**

**Romeo and Juliet: The Musical**

**Tryouts: Monday, April 13th **

"You gonna try out for the play, Karkat?" John Egbert asked his friend with a grin.

"Of course. Romeo and Juliet is the romantic story to fucking rule them all. Besides... Terezi is trying for the part of Juliet." Karkat blushed slightly, admitting that his crush was trying for the part that he always compared her to.

Karkat Vantas had been in love with Terezi Pyrope since the beginning of forever. In the later years of elementary school, they had met online in a random chat room with ten other kids, one a bit younger than the rest. All lived in that area, some even went to school with the two, except apcolypseArisen; she was Korean. Over time, the twelve of them created a roleplay. They were trolls from a distant planet, with a complex romantic system, a tyrannical government, and their lives were constantly at risk. It was fun. One of them, arsenicCatnip, was always post pictures of her "shipping wall."

It was only a matter of time before he fell for gallowCalibrator. They met face to face in junior high, when ten of the twelve would be in attendance. They introduced themselves first by their internet name, then their real. A petite ginger girl crowed, "gallowsCalibrator, or Terezi Pyrope."

She then smacked Karkat in the face with her cane, being blind.

With the tryouts being Monday, Karkat spent the weekend finding a monologue in some of the older roleplay logs and putting together John's birthday present. While online, he was pestered.

-arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering carcinoGeneticist at 3:57-

AC: :33 hi karkitty

AC: :33 what are you doing?

CG: TRYING TO FIND A MONOLOGUE IN OUR OLD RP SHIT

CG: WHAT WOULD YOU RECOMMEND?

AC: :33 hm

AC: :33 remember that whole joke we had?  
AC: :33 the one where you would have whole blocks of text talking to yourself?

CG: YEAH. THANKS.

CG: FOUND ONE. DON'T EXPECT ME ON AGAIN THIS WEEKEND.

AC: :33 okay

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] at 4:36-

A commotion sounded downstairs, and Karkat heard a distinct lisp. His father, Kankri Vantas, had invited his old childhood friend Porrim Maryam over, and that meant her three kids as well: two of which were involved in the RP.

"'Thup, KK?"

"Sollux, fuck off." Karkat slapped his shitty computer. "Print, fuckass!"

"Monologue? What ith it?"

"One of the old 'memos'."

"Oh, fuck. Anyway, we brought food. Porrim thayth you and your dad can't fend for yourthelveth, and I agree." A cry of Sollux's name. "MT needs me, KK. I'll be back."

Sollux Captor and his twin, Mituna, had been in and out of foster care for years. Host parents said that Mituna's autism mixed with Sollux's bipolarity was too much to handle at the same time, but the boys refused to separate. Their social worker, Porrim Maryam, added them to her small family of her and her daughter, Kanaya. The boys. Mainly Sollux, were still hesitant, and Mituna always called for Sollux.

Karkat followed his friend as brunet bee-lined for his brother, Mituna on the verge of one of his fits. He sat between Kanaya and his father before moving to the floor as Kanaya tutted at his clothes. Fashionista.

That night, Karkat had Mituna and Sollux settled in his room for the night, Mituna watching as the two practiced their monologues.

"Don't talk to me like you're one of them, you're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're jutht a freak- like me! They need you now, but when they don't... they'll catht you out. Like a leper. Their moralth, their code: it'th a bad joke. Dropped at the firtht hint- no, fuck- firtht thign of trouble. They're only ath good ath the world allowth them to be. You'll thee. Fuck!" Sollux threw his paper down.

Kanaya popped in. "May I monologue with you?"

"Why not."

Once Kanaya had recited hers, Karkat scoffed. "The Devil Wears Prada? Of course."

_...line-break..._

Monday rolled around, and Karkat was dragged into the drama room. It was already nearly full. John hurried to the piano, being the accompanist, and the senior Cronus Ampora stood, clapping his hands together. "We all here? Good. Okay, so, we'll start with monologues, then the song of your choice. Who wants to go first?"

Terezi's hand shot up. She stood, locating the piano with her cane, and tucked herself into the curve of it. "Justice was served?!" she started. "You've got to be kidding me! I was there. I heard everything. Your client beat that man to a bloody pulp. He left him lying in the street. Just a mass of blood where his face used to be. You must have seen the pictures. He had to have his entire face surgically redone, I've heard. And why? Because your hero was itching for a fight and didn't like his long hair.

"Two years of private investigators calling me and having me tell them everything I remember. And for what? So I could sit in that witness stand and have you twist my words into lies. You must be awfully proud of yourself. What do you feel when you're lying in bed at night? Do guilt or shame ever come creeping in? I have been waiting in that stuffy office all day. Because I came here to tell the truth. And I did. Now would you tell me something? How can you live with yourself? How?"

John hit "play" on the CD player on the piano. Terezi sang. "The cycle repeated, as explosions broke in the sky. All that I needed was the one thing I couldn't find. And you were there at the turn, waiting to let me know~"

Cronus held up a hand. "That's enough, thank you. I'm sorry to interrupt, but we only have a little time. Next?"

Karkat stood, nodding at Cronus's brother, Eridan, who played guitar. The boy grabbed his instrument, prepared for after the monologue. "This is probably the last memo I will write, because, first of all, there's not much else to say, and, second of all, I might be dead soon."

Karkat saw his RP buddies lean forward slightly, recognizing his words. The sophomore began pacing. "I'm just hoping some of you idiots read this, and even if you think I'm full of it now, when it all starts going down you remember what I said and save yourselves. The worst case scenario has happened. The Bard of Rage is on the loose. Yeah, we all thought that title was a joke, but it turns out it wasn't." Karkat let a little fear enter his voice. "He's completely snapped, and for those of you further ahead on the timeline, I don't have to tell you how dangerous he is.

"Remember what he did to the black king. Nobody could explain it, and he just went back to spacing out for the rest of the battle. Seriously, what was that?" Karkat stop to look out at his audience. "I guess we though it was a secret joke power? But the joke's on us. We are so screwed." He turned around to face the wall. "I am terrified. I don't know what to do. I'm in a room full of bodies, and I guess I'm not supposed to turn my back on them?" Karkat whipped around. "Oh, god, I just heard a honk."

Eridan strummed to first chords of the song Karkat had picked as John took the harmony. "Weep for yourself, my man, you'll never be what is in your heart. Weep, little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start. Rate yourself and rake yourself, take all the courage you have left. Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head. And it was not your fauld, but mine, and it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time, didn't I, my dear?"

Karkat hurried back to his seat, listening to auditions again only when Sollux sang the chorus of his song, "Safe and Sound."

All that could be done now was to wait.

_...line-break..._

**I'm done here... *starts next chapter***


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two!**

**Um... Should say what shippings are in this? Nah, you'll figure them out.**

**Guest: Wow, thank you! I was just a random thought I had. I RP all the time, so I thought that would be fun to incorporate. That, and, well, it may be important later. I'm not sure.**

_...line-break..._

Cast:

Romeo Montague- Karkat Vantas

Juliet Capulet- Terezi Pyrope

Tybalt Capulet- Sollux Captor

Mercutio- Gamzee Makara

Benvolio- Eridan Ampora

Paris: Vriska Serket

Lord Capulet- Dave Strider

Lady Capulet- Kanaya Maryam

Lord Montague- Tavros Nitram

Lady Montague- Rose Lalonde

Nurse: Aradia Megido

Capulet(cousin)- Equius Zahhak

Servants: Mituna Captor

Jade Harley

Friar Lawrence: Aranea Serket

Karkat shouted with joy, drawing the attention of passing students. The week had dragged on as he waited until Friday for the results of auditions and callbacks. He was one step closer to having Terezi's heart, according to _every romcom ever._ And those had to be right.

Once home, he signed into his RP account and was instantly spammed with congratulatory messages.

-caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 4:13-

CA: congrats kar

CA: romeo montague

CG: YEAH, WHATEVER.

CA: you spazzing inside?

CG: COMPLETELY

CG: TELL ANYONE AND I'LL KILL YOU.

CA: my lips are sealed

CA: so wwhatdjksfhblisauyhf

CA: fuck it cronus!

Karkat shook his head. Eridan would be dealing with his brother for a while. He checked his other messages.

-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 4:12-

EB: hey karkat!

EB: you made romeo!

EB: sorry i wasn't there to celebrate with you, i was with dave

CG: THE FUCKER KEEPING YOU FRIENDZONED?

EB: yeah

CG: GOOD LUCK WITH HIM.

EB: it will happen karkat

EB: i feel it

EB: just like it will happen with you and terezi!

CG: YEAH. HEY, DAD'S CALLING. I GOTTA GO.

EB: kay

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 4:17-

Karkat yelled down the stairs. "What?"

"Dinner!"

"Did you cook?"

"Yeah."

"Get the fuck out of the kitchen," Karkat ordered, walking in. It was well known the Kankri Vantas, Karkat's father, could not cook. He would blow up the kitchen long before he created something edible, and the man knew it. He was scraping what appeared to be an attempt at pasta into the trash when Karkat walked in. "No wonder Porrim thinks we starve." The teen pulled his phone out, texting Gamzee to beg for his friend's baking. The boy's brother may constantly be high, and Gamzee occasionally, but god damn they could cook. Within half an hour, the younger Makara had taken over their kitchen, dancing around it like a culinary _god. _The Vantas men just watched, engaging in light conversation with Gamzee's older brother, Kurloz, while they waited for their meal. The guests ended up passed out on the living room floor that night, making Karkat forcing Gamzee into the shower the next morning a thing that happened.

Such things happened a lot at the Vantas household. Kankri was a social person who showed compassion to everyone, and everyone always gave it back however they could. That trait was passed to Karkat, along with his mother's temper. It was an interesting combination, and it made him a loveable asshole.

"Gamzee, I am not unlocking the door until you take a fucking shower!"

"Alright, motherfucker, but..."

"No, Gamzee. I am not coming in to listen to you ramble the whole time. I have shit to get done."

"Bro..."

"I hate you." Karkat entered the bathroom and pushed the naked teen into the tub, turning on the shower. "You, clean, now. Does your shitty apartment even have running water?"

"Yeah, but the water heater's fucked. It's always cold, so I normally use the school showers."

"And the goddamned pink shit that they call soap? No wonder you smell like a sewer pipe." Karkat tentatively sniffed his best friend's tee shirt. "Holy fuck, when did you do laundry last? Thank god you're scrawny, even if you're tall. Dad's stuff should fit you. I'll grab you some clean clothes. _Stay in the shower._" Karkat could tell the other boy was about to follow him dripping wet and ass nude through the house.

He absconded to his father's room, digging out a plain navy shirt and some slightly tattered jeans. Karkat returned to the bathroom in time to see Gamzee yanking a brush through unruly dark curls, wearing his boxers. Karkat shoved the clothing into Gamzee's hands before grabbing his toothbrush.

"Thanks, bro," Gamzee said with a lazy grin. Karkat flipped him off, smiling himself.

The two boys were closer than brothers. Gamzee had been abused by his parents until a few years ago, when Kurloz gained custody. The court battles had been long, but between Terezi's mom being Kurloz's lawyer and Karkat's witness statement, the nineteen year old became the legal guardian of his little brother.

And did Karkat have a statement. No more than two months after his RP "moirail" in person, he'd received a text with an address, nothing more. Karkat, being a Vantas, went to it with his father.

Gamzee Makara had torn from the house there like a bat out of hell, but Mr. Makara was faster with a wicked aim. A beer bottle had shattered on the back of Gamzee's head.

Karkat was out of the car by this point, and Gamzee's father found himself facing the 5 foot 3 inch hellstorm named Karkat Vantas. Karkat didn't bother with the man. Instead, he flung himself over Gamzee's head and chest to protect the unconscious, bleeding boy.

Karkat still had scars on his back from the drunkard's belt, but he didn't regret helping his friend. He never would. Gamzee and Kurloz had lived in the Vantas home for several weeks before Kurloz found a home suitable for the two. Even then, they often stayed over. They were family, the only family Karkat and Kankri had.

But that was a story for another time, because if they didn't leave _right the fuck now, _they would be late. To what? The day before had marked the four year anniversary to the day the infamous "Alternia" roleplay began, a roleplay that brought twelve outcasts together. And Feferi Piexes would "cull" them if they didn't haul their asses to her house fast.

It was a quite a ways to the Piexes home, so the two talked to whole way. Karkat shared his plans on wooing Terezi while Gamzee asked for advice on pursuing Tavros Nitram.

You were moirails having a feeling jam, and both of you were on cloud nine.

_,,,line-break..._

**Why have a completely useless chapter? Because I can. That, and I so ship Gamzee/Karkat when it's pale.**


End file.
